I hate hearing news stories about unruly children on flights.  The coverage inevitably leans toward the family with the airline and flight attendants looking like the bad guys.  While there are situations where flight attendants over-react to a crying child, many times the blame should fall on the unprepared parents.  If a child is unwilling to sit safely in a seat, should everyone on the plane be forced to wait for the tantrum to end?  Certainly not if it means delaying the flight.

Kids often board planes in a state of hyper-stimulation combined with utter exhaustion – in other words, primed for a meltdown.  Parents, having just negotiated a late night packing blitz and the obstacle course that is today’s airport experience, board the plane in a frenzied state and ignore their kids until a tantrum starts.  With the kids in a completely irrational state, things quickly escalate out of control.

Meltdowns happen – often at the most inconvenient times.   Be prepared to deal with the situation and respond quickly and appropriately – don’t check your common sense and sense of humor at the gate!   With some patience, planning, and a little luck, things will end up being ok.

Plan ahead

• Pack fun snacks and water in an easily accessible location.  We always pack M&Ms in fun containers for the plane because they are easy to eat (and good for counting, sorting, pouring, and other fun games).

• Have a mini activity or toy ready.  This should be something new – a small car, activity pad, or stickers work well.  Keep in mind that the tray table will need to be in the upright position so do not count on using it for the toy or activity.

• Carry-on only what you need.  Check the extra bag instead of trying to bring everything on the plane.

Boarding Process

Spend a few minutes prior to boarding calming everyone down and discussing expected behavior on the plane.  Kids are quick to pick up on adult anxiety so this is the time for parents to relax as well.

Board as early as possible and focus first on the kids, then on storing the carry-on bags.  Pull out a favorite stuffed animal or blanket and give them their snack.  Once the kids are comfortable and eating, get the carry-on bags stashed away.

Before the snacks have been exhausted, pull out the new toy or activity.  The miniKiddy was originally designed for my kids to use while waiting for take-off.  If you don’t want to buy a pre-packaged solution, browse the toy stores and create something on your own.

Mid Melt-Down

Suppose you follow the advice above and one of the kids still melts down and/or refuses to sit in their seat?  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

• Bribery.  i.e., you won’t get special travel surprises if you don’t settle down.  My kids are the beta testers for new TravelKiddy items so they know there will be loads of fun surprises and this trick often works on them.

• Making faces.  Sometimes the mere act of mimicking the child’s distorted, crying face will shock them out of it.

• Cry.  A friend broke down into tears in the middle of her child’s tantrum and the little girl was so concerned that she stopped mid-cry to console her mom.

• Sing.  Sing funny songs, nursery rhymes, anything.  This so irritates one of my girls that she will stop crying to tell me to stop singing.

• Ask the flight attendant to try talking to them.  Sometimes a stranger can have a big impact.

• If sitting in the seat is an issue, try bringing a car seat or booster seat – the familiarity might be helpful.  My kids can wiggle out of the lap belt very easily but there are airplane child restraint systems on the market that fit similar to a 5 point harness and leave little wiggle room.

When all else fails…

• Splash some cold water on their face.  Often just a few drops of cold water on their forehead or cheeks will snap them out of their fit (or at least give them something else to cry about).

If my kids have a tantrum at home, I will often make sure they are safe and then ignore them until the moment has passed.  Kids are incapable of understanding a logical argument at that moment and often just need to get their frustration out of their systems.  I don’t recommend this approach while flying because I have experienced it as a passenger and nothing is more irritating than seeing a parent ignore a crying child.  Try something, even if it doesn’t work, it will garner sympathy from the other passengers (and maybe their passing smile will be just the thing to stop the meltdown!).

Keep in mind this really is a safety issue.  Crying is NOT a reason to remove a family from a plane; however, if a child is unwilling to sit safely in their seat and the parents are not able to control the situation, it places the child and other passengers at risk and the flight attendants should deal with the matter in a professional manner.

Happy travels.

Flying with Kids

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