With spring travel upon us, unruly kids on airplanes has become a frequent topic in the media and blogging world.  “Who is to blame?” has been a popular headline this year – with heated commentary on both sides.    I  think that unprepared parents are to blame for most unruly kids on planes (and in restaurants).

Let me start by defining “unruly”.   The most appropriate word to describe these kids is turbulent.  They are the ones screaming at the top of their lungs, kicking the seats, refusing to buckle, and running up and down the aisles while mom and/or dad do nothing.   The majority of kids on flights are well behaved but it is the unruly ones that get the media attention.

I fly frequently with my four children and can assure you that no flight is perfect.   At least one person cries at least once during the trip.  We play with the tray table or make more noise than an adult passenger but we also have more fun.    I see many parents actively engaged with their children on planes – playing with them, walking the aisles, or consoling hurting ears.  Unfortunately, it takes only one or two unruly kids to ruin a flight.  And these kids all have one thing in common – BOREDOM!  Their parents either brought nothing for them to do or are unwilling to join them in an activity.

If you are reading this, chances are you are not one of these parents.  So, what do you do when the kids around you are misbehaving, which, inevitably, has a negative impact on your kids?

1. Pack a few extra items.  My daughters have gone so far as to share their things with bored kids on long flights so now I pack an extra coloring/activity book, four pack of crayons and small toy.  It gets shared with someone on almost every trip we take.
2. Continually remind your kids of expected behavior and reward them verbally (and with treats) for their good behavior.
3. Distract, distract, distract!  Play word games, sing songs, play with finger puppets, color pictures together.
4. Relax.  Your kids will feed off of your mood and stress level.  If you stay calm, they are more likely to as well.

Happy Travels.

Flying with Kids · traveling with kids

On almost every flight I see families that failed to bring any activities for their kids.  My classic example occurred on a 14 hour flight from Hong Kong to the US.  The family in the seats behind us brought nothing for their kids (ages 4 and 2) to play with, no snacks, and no comfort items – despite the fact that they had a huge carry-on with two laptops (apparently not for the kids as the adults used them the entire flight), books, blankets, and snacks (again, apparently not for the kids as they didn’t seem to share).   Their kids cried until my oldest could stand no more and offered to share her toys with them.

Seriously, what are people thinking?  The days of free playing cards and kid’s travel packs on US carriers are long past – now you are lucky to get a beverage!  Want to avoid a serious mid-flight meltdown?  Plan ahead and buy a TravelKiddy or spend the time, money, and effort to create your own.

In addition to the TravelKiddy, here are our other “must have” carry-on items:

1. Complete change of clothes for each child and a fresh shirt for each adult (accidents and spills will happen – be prepared)
2. Supply of children’s Tylenol/Motrin, Pepto, and bandages
3. Tissues, wipes, and Tide-To-Go pen
4. Chap stick
5. Snacks – no experimenting!  Bring a selection of sweet and savory items
6. Water purchased after clearing security
7. Zip top bags
8. Favorite comfort items (blanky, binky, stuffy, etc.)
9. Kid friendly maps and/or books about destination
10. Sense of humor
11. Sock puppets

Happy Travels

Flying with Kids · travel activities

I hate hearing news stories about unruly children on flights.  The coverage inevitably leans toward the family with the airline and flight attendants looking like the bad guys.  While there are situations where flight attendants over-react to a crying child, many times the blame should fall on the unprepared parents.  If a child is unwilling to sit safely in a seat, should everyone on the plane be forced to wait for the tantrum to end?  Certainly not if it means delaying the flight.

Kids often board planes in a state of hyper-stimulation combined with utter exhaustion – in other words, primed for a meltdown.  Parents, having just negotiated a late night packing blitz and the obstacle course that is today’s airport experience, board the plane in a frenzied state and ignore their kids until a tantrum starts.  With the kids in a completely irrational state, things quickly escalate out of control.

Meltdowns happen – often at the most inconvenient times.   Be prepared to deal with the situation and respond quickly and appropriately – don’t check your common sense and sense of humor at the gate!   With some patience, planning, and a little luck, things will end up being ok.

Plan ahead

• Pack fun snacks and water in an easily accessible location.  We always pack M&Ms in fun containers for the plane because they are easy to eat (and good for counting, sorting, pouring, and other fun games).

• Have a mini activity or toy ready.  This should be something new – a small car, activity pad, or stickers work well.  Keep in mind that the tray table will need to be in the upright position so do not count on using it for the toy or activity.

• Carry-on only what you need.  Check the extra bag instead of trying to bring everything on the plane.

Boarding Process

Spend a few minutes prior to boarding calming everyone down and discussing expected behavior on the plane.  Kids are quick to pick up on adult anxiety so this is the time for parents to relax as well.

Board as early as possible and focus first on the kids, then on storing the carry-on bags.  Pull out a favorite stuffed animal or blanket and give them their snack.  Once the kids are comfortable and eating, get the carry-on bags stashed away.

Before the snacks have been exhausted, pull out the new toy or activity.  The miniKiddy was originally designed for my kids to use while waiting for take-off.  If you don’t want to buy a pre-packaged solution, browse the toy stores and create something on your own.

Mid Melt-Down

Suppose you follow the advice above and one of the kids still melts down and/or refuses to sit in their seat?  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

• Bribery.  i.e., you won’t get special travel surprises if you don’t settle down.  My kids are the beta testers for new TravelKiddy items so they know there will be loads of fun surprises and this trick often works on them.

• Making faces.  Sometimes the mere act of mimicking the child’s distorted, crying face will shock them out of it.

• Cry.  A friend broke down into tears in the middle of her child’s tantrum and the little girl was so concerned that she stopped mid-cry to console her mom.

• Sing.  Sing funny songs, nursery rhymes, anything.  This so irritates one of my girls that she will stop crying to tell me to stop singing.

• Ask the flight attendant to try talking to them.  Sometimes a stranger can have a big impact.

• If sitting in the seat is an issue, try bringing a car seat or booster seat – the familiarity might be helpful.  My kids can wiggle out of the lap belt very easily but there are airplane child restraint systems on the market that fit similar to a 5 point harness and leave little wiggle room.

When all else fails…

• Splash some cold water on their face.  Often just a few drops of cold water on their forehead or cheeks will snap them out of their fit (or at least give them something else to cry about).

If my kids have a tantrum at home, I will often make sure they are safe and then ignore them until the moment has passed.  Kids are incapable of understanding a logical argument at that moment and often just need to get their frustration out of their systems.  I don’t recommend this approach while flying because I have experienced it as a passenger and nothing is more irritating than seeing a parent ignore a crying child.  Try something, even if it doesn’t work, it will garner sympathy from the other passengers (and maybe their passing smile will be just the thing to stop the meltdown!).

Keep in mind this really is a safety issue.  Crying is NOT a reason to remove a family from a plane; however, if a child is unwilling to sit safely in their seat and the parents are not able to control the situation, it places the child and other passengers at risk and the flight attendants should deal with the matter in a professional manner.

Happy travels.

Flying with Kids

Stuck on a plane with a bored toddler?  Stave off a meltdown with these tips for amusing toddlers with things you can find on a plane (or in a restaurant).

1. Cups:  Ask the flight attendant for 2 cups.  Fill one of them 1/2 full of water and let your toddler practice pouring back and forth.  Getting wet just adds to the fun!
2. More cups:  After the water is gone, ask for a third cup and play shell games.
3. In-flight magazine:  Find the crossword puzzle and color designs in the squares.
4. In-flight magazine:  Flip to an ad with lots of big letters and go on a letter hunt.  Draw a letter and have your toddler find it on the page.  Continue the game by counting how many times you can find it on the page.
5. Make paper airplanes out of subscription cards or scrap paper (dig those old receipts out!)
6. Skymall Magazine: There are always a few pages of puppies or toys.  Send them on a scavenger hunt through the magazine to find them.
7. Teach your toddler how to play rock, paper, scissors.  Be flexible with the rules and see how fun their logic is.
8. Play I Spy using pages out of SkyMall or colorful ads.
9. Make funny faces and/or play peek-a-boo.
10. When all else fails, never underestimate the power of a sock puppet!

Happy Travels!

Flying with Kids · flying with toddlers · tips for traveling

Movies and video games are great in-flight entertainment – let’s face it, sometimes they are life savers!  What I am going to propose next will sound crazy, but hear me out… Turn off the electronics on your next flight. That’s right, turn them off.

In today’s hyper-stimulated world, it is hard to find quality time to connect with your kids without the distractions of everyday life.  The plane is the perfect place to spend a few hours engaging with your kids.  Spend the time playing games, reading, and talking.  It will be a better flight for both of you.

Flying with Kids · unplug